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From the Neighborhood Press

A senior father and his daughter sitting on a couch smiling and talking to each other.

How to Talk to Senior Parents About Accepting Help

As our parents age, it is normal for them to require more care and assistance to maintain their quality of life. Bringing up the topic of hospice care can be a difficult conversation to have with an elderly parent facing a life-limiting illness. Convincing an elderly parent to accept the help that they need and deserve is a common hurdle for many families. 

While some seniors may choose to age in place and receive support in their own homes, other seniors may require the more advanced care that can be provided in a hospice care setting. A hospice care team can provide specialized services and support to ensure the highest quality of life possible for your loved one. 

If the time has come to consider transitioning a loved one into hospice care, it is important to include your loved one as much as possible and approach the conversation with empathy. Asking an elderly parent to accept end-of-life care is never an easy decision, but it is ultimately important to consider what is best for your loved one as they face their final stage of life. 

When Is It Time to Move a Senior Parent into Hospice?

Knowing when to approach an elderly parent about accepting help can be a challenge in itself. It’s a common misconception that hospice care is not needed until just weeks before death is expected. Hospice care can benefit people with life-limiting illnesses, typically when the illness is expected to limit life to six months or less. 

Hospice care focuses on the care, comfort, and quality of life of a person with a life-limiting illness. If your loved one has a medical condition that is terminal and can no longer be treated, it may be time to select hospice care. 

Signs that your loved one may be ready for hospice include:

  • Diagnosis with a life-limiting illness and a desire to stop curative treatment
  • Increasing needs for medical and personal support
  • Repeated hospitalization or trips to the emergency room
  • An increase in pain, nausea, breathing changes, or other symptoms
  • Unpleasant side effects from a current treatment for a life-limiting illness

As the child of a senior in need of end-of-life care, it can feel overwhelming and exhausting to care for your loved one. It is also important to take into consideration your own needs while discussing hospice care with your parent. 

A senior man and his daughter smiling and talking to each other near a beach.

Tips for Talking to a Senior Parent About Hospice Care

Once you have determined that hospice care is a suitable option for your loved one, it is important to discuss it with them openly and honestly. These types of conversations are likely difficult. However, there are steps that you can take to make it easier to ask your parent to accept the help they need and deserve. 

Start the Conversation Early

Ideally, you should start talking about end-of-life care options before they actually need it. This way, they will have time to consider their options and make an informed decision. It may be beneficial to bring up the topic of hospice care when discussing long-term care plans, such as creating a will or setting up a power of attorney.  

Use Empathetic Language

When discussing hospice care with your parent, it is important to use language that is empathetic and as positive as possible. Instead of focusing on their declining health, emphasize that you want to ensure that they receive the best care and support possible. 

Listen to Their Concerns

It is normal for your parent to have concerns or fears about entering hospice care. It’s important to listen to their worries and address them in a compassionate and understanding way. 

For example, if your loved one is worried about losing their independence, you can explain how hospice care can actually help them maintain their independence by providing the support they need to continue living life to the fullest. 

Be Honest and Direct

When discussing hospice care with your loved one, it’s important to be honest and direct. Avoid sugar coating the situation or making promises that you can’t keep. Instead, explain the reality of their situation and the care that they require. This may help your parent understand the importance of seeking additional support. 

Involve Other Family Members

Bringing up the topic of hospice care can be overwhelming for both you and your parent. If possible, involve other family members in the conversation to provide additional support and perspective. This can also help ensure that everyone is on the same page when it comes to the care your parent receives. 

Research Care Options

Before discussing hospice care with your parent, it’s important to do your research and understand what options are available to your family. Look into different care providers, facilities, and programs in your area and compare their services, reputation, and costs. This can help you present your parent with specific options and help them make a more informed decision. 

Address Their Concerns About Cost

Many seniors are concerned about the cost of end-of-life care, especially if they are living on a fixed income. Make sure to address their financial concerns and discuss options for funding their care. In some cases, hospice care can be paid for by Medicare, Medicaid, the Department of Veterans Affairs, private insurance plans, HMOs, or other managed care organizations

Provide Emotional Support

Transitioning into hospice care can be a difficult and emotional time for both you and your parent. Make sure to provide emotional support and reassurance throughout the process. Let your loved one know that you love them and just want what is best for them. 

Respect Their Wishes

Ultimately, the decision to enter into hospice care should be up to your loved one. While you may have concerns about their health and well-being, it’s important to respect their wishes and autonomy. 

If they are hesitant to enter a care facility, consider exploring other options, such as in-home care, that may better suit their needs. 

The Hospice Support Your Family Needs

The compassionate and caring team at Del Corazon Hospice is here to guide your parent and family through the difficult transition into hospice care. We’re here to provide the support and care that your loved one deserves. 

Contact our team to learn more about hospice care services in Santa Fe. We are also happy to answer any additional questions you may have about hospice care.

A senior father and his daughter sitting on a couch smiling and talking to each other.

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