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From the Neighborhood Press

An older woman speaking face-to-face with an older man sitting down while grasping his hands

How to Talk to Someone with Dementia

Talking to someone with dementia can be challenging and frustrating. You may not be used to communicating in ways they need, or it may be difficult to see a person you’ve known for a long time change. 

But knowing how to adjust your communication style for someone with dementia can make a remarkable difference in their mood. It may not be easy for you, but it’s rewarding to see the person you love able to happily communicate with you, even if it’s not how you’re used to.

People with dementia require care and attention to maintain their quality of life. Rediscovering how to communicate together can make your relationship more fulfilling and rewarding in the long run. It’s a learning experience for them and you. 

What is Dementia

Dementia is caused by diseases that deteriorate a person’s cognitive function. Dementia is not a disease by itself but rather a set of symptoms. Some causes of dementia include:

  • Alzheimer’s disease
  • Lewy bodies
  • Frontotemporal disease
  • Vascular disease

Though these are all causes of dementia, a person likely has mixed dementia caused by a combination of two or more diseases. Diseases that cause dementia all deteriorate brain function, including a person’s thinking and reasoning skills. Dementia symptoms include:

  • Memory loss
  • Motor function difficulty
  • Notable confusion 
  • Visual hallucinations
  • Personality changes
  • Paranoia & agitation

A person with dementia can become confused and distracted easily. Their condition makes it difficult to focus for a long time, and they can get agitated quickly. As you spend time with your loved one with dementia, you may notice their personality start to change. They may become more distant and difficult to communicate with. You’ll need to make adjustments, so they can talk to you and express their feelings and needs as best as possible.

A caregiver talking to a senior woman with her right hand on her shoulder to show comfort.

Tips for Talking to Someone with Dementia

The first and most important thing to remember when talking to someone with dementia is that they’re still the same person you’ve always known. Speak to them as you normally would. You don’t need to change your speaking style; in some cases, this can irritate a person with dementia. 

Instead, it’s essential to understand strategies you can use to make communication clear. These strategies can help create an environment where you and your loved one can have a productive and fulfilling conversation.

Be Clear and Concise

A person with dementia can be easily confused and distracted. Being clear and concise when you speak to them can decrease the chance of miscommunication and keep them engaged in your conversation. 

Speak in simple sentences. Being direct, to the point, and asking one question at a time keep a person with dementia focused. If a person with dementia needs to think too long or hard about a question you’ve asked. In that case, their mind can wander, making conversation difficult. 

Make Focusing Easy

A person with dementia will focus better without too much sensory stimulation. Public spaces like a dining hall or a crowded park can be distracting and irritating. Instead, find a private, quiet place. Cutting down on distractions will make it easier for a person with dementia to focus.

It also helps if you get as personal as possible. Make your conversation private between you and the person with dementia. Get close to them and make sure you’re at their eye level, making direct eye contact. 

Be Patient

Finding the right words can often be difficult for someone with dementia. You may be frustrated as a person with dementia takes more time to process the questions you’re asking and form a response. An entire conversation can often take more time than you’re used to. 

Remember your loved one often can’t control the confusion they feel because of dementia. It’s important to be patient with them. When you’re having a conversation, you allow them to practice their communication skills, which can go a long way.

Have Compassion and Interest

Speaking to someone with dementia gives you the chance to learn more about them and how their condition makes them feel. It’s tempting to correct people with dementia when they express something incorrectly. Instead, prompt them with questions to get them to open up more. 

If a person with dementia is confused about where they are or who they’re with, ask them to give more detail. Invalidating their feelings or experience isn’t helpful, and prompting them could lead you to discover a new detail you may not have known before.

Understand Non-Verbal Cues

Non-verbal communication can be just as important as verbal communication. A person with dementia will often give cues when their attention is drifting. Staring and dilated pupils can show that a person with dementia is not focused. 

Understanding non-verbal cues can help reduce miscommunication. A person’s facial expressions and body language can tell you if they’re feeling excited, angry, sad, or hesitant. You can clue how a person with dementia feels by paying attention to these subtle differences. 

Caring for Someone with Dementia

A person with dementia may need more care than you can give. The condition can often mean they’re less able to care for themselves and may need more specialized care to maintain their quality of life. 

Scheduling a visit to a community that offers boutique memory support can be the first step toward managing your loved one’s condition and health. This help can let you develop a relationship with your loved one filled with meaningful conversation. Trained, dedicated staff can offer assistance and lift the burden of care off your shoulders.

An older woman speaking face-to-face with an older man sitting down while grasping his hands

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